Does mom or dad suffer from early Fox News dementia? There's hope (for you).
Many people I know have parents who are suffering from Early Fox News Dementia, ranting about the perfidy of Anthony Fauci and the possibility of catching critical race theory from an open jar of mayonnaise. But at the same time, they want to give their children parental advice and guidance, though now through the prism of their separate bespoke realities. They want to remain parents, but only on their own racist and hurtful terms. My counsel to these children—stemming from what my closest friends and I experienced, all of us immigrants in our forties from different parts of the world—is to orphan yourself. These discounted styles are not to be missed. Well, it's Thanksgiving again, the only time of the year that turkeys are culturally salient. And, thus, the only time of the year the opinion—based in fact but opinion nonetheless—is also relevant that turkey, as a thing to put into an oven (or deep fryer or smoker) and then onto a table and then into our mouths, is a very dull idea indeed. Let me be clear, contrary to popular opinion, as a bird, turkeys are not dumb. They're not like My Octopus Teacher-level smart but they're not like the notoriously idiotic kakapo either. They're like fine. B, B+. But as a food they stink. Flavorless, character-free, gargantuan, easy to under- or overcook and hard to love. The whole roasted turkey has no place on our holiday table. And for once, it's not sold out. Or, as M.F.K. Fisher wrote in her 1975 ode to the greatest American dessert, swimming in a bowl of heavy cream. If you haven't read Tolkien's series, how I envy you! Newcomers are in for an unforgettable reading experience; you'll always remember the first time you encountered these moving, masterfully imagined epics about the struggle between good and evil, the delicate balance of death and immortality, and the addictive danger of power. But The Lord of the Rings is just the tip of the iceberg; Tolkien's Middle-earth legendarium encompasses thousands of years and dozens of other works, meaning that if you dive in, it may be quite a long time before you make it there and back again. |
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