The first time she started swinging, I hit back to defend myself.
This was 20-some years ago. I was in the Army, stationed in rural Louisiana and dating Chloe, who was another soldier in my unit. Chloe was an amateur boxer—and an alcoholic. She would get punchy when she was drunk. That night, we were camping and we were drinking. I don’t recall who or what started it. I never did it again. But things only got worse. A couple times she clocked me so hard that I fell to the ground, and she’d just keep hitting.
Chloe made it clear that if I ever said anything about the abuse, she would go to the cops and tell everyone that I had beaten her. I believed her. At the same time, it’s not like no one knew something was happening. I was showing up to work with bruises and scabs. My roommate knew she caused them and started rumors I was in bar fights. He thought that he was protecting me.
I wasn’t going to admit that my girlfriend was beating me. But pretending I got into bar fights meant that people didn’t want to hang out with me. I eventually told a female friend about the abuse, and she was like, “I dunno, suck it up.” I’m not mad at her. I felt the same way.
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Tom Hiddleston is holding court in the center of an ancient city, determined to solve a centuries-old mystery. An epic cataclysm happened here almost 2,000 years ago, but as the sun sets on Pompeii in 2026, the actor scans the ruins and asks those of us assembled around him to cast our senses back to the Roman port city’s last day on August 24, A.D. 79. That’s when Mount Vesuvius, the gently sloping green ridge on the horizon, rained hellfire down on the people who lived here.
Actually, Hiddleston wants to push our group backward just a little more, to right before the volcanic eruption. Pompeii has been the actor’s secret passion for decades, forged when he first visited here at age 17. Now he has turned that fascination into the inventive new NatGeo documentary series Pompeii: Out of Time, which explores the ancient disaster as a combination true-crime thriller and time-travel story. The unresolved question: Who, if anyone, was able to survive that day of fire and brimstone?
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Years ago, I received a piece of advice from a colleague here at Esquire that doubled as a sort of overarching approach to life: Always pack a swimsuit. No matter where you’re going, what you’re doing, or what time of year it is, pack a swimsuit. On the practical side, it’s a good idea because a swimsuit doesn’t take up much space and putting one on is simpler than dealing with a public-nudity charge. But there’s also a philosophical implication, because packing a swimsuit isn’t just being prepared; it’s a way of tapping into the optimistic part of yourself that believes, however unlikely it seems, that you might just need it.
Because going for a swim—in the pool, in the ocean, in some magical cove at the end of a hiking trail—is a genuine pleasure. You float. You splash. You dive. It’s a freakin’ lovely experience.
What can be less lovely, though, is picking the swimsuit to wear while you’re doing all this. When a single item of clothing is the only thing you’re wearing, it has to do all the work, stylistically speaking. For those of us who care about the wide world of menswear, that can be anxiety inducing. Throw a bunch of different options into the mix, all with their own pros and cons, and one would be forgiven for feeling a minor sense of dread when choosing a new suit.
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The funny thing about dive watches is that 99 percent of us who obsess constantly about owning a good one—yes, including me—have no immediate plans to be anywhere near scuba gear. Fortunately, all the performative functionality of a good diver applies just as well, if not better, where we’re more likely to wear one, like on a boat or at the beach.
Although many sports watch brands offer pieces purpose-built for the ocean, few are more authentic than Panerai. The 90-year-old company built its entire reputation on the performance of rugged dive watches tried and tested for decades in the most extreme conditions—most of them underwater. But when it comes to wearing the modern iterations of those iconic pieces, anywhere near water is still good.
Panerai’s ongoing collaboration with the America’s Cup, sailing’s most glamorous trophy, is a case in point. The brand has been a close partner and sponsor of the Italian Luna Rossa squad from 2019, and it has created as many as 29 specially designed Luna Rossa watches since, including two released just last week and based on the historic Luminor Marina design.
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When Christopher Nolan was asked what captivated him about The Odyssey enough to make a film out of the ancient Greek epic, he cited a relatively modern author. “I think it’s the Emily Wilson translation that begins, ‘Tell me about a complicated man,’” the filmmaker told Empire magazine last November. “The genius of the character, the cleverness, the inventiveness of him, that was a huge part of what interested me. He’s not just a soldier. He’s an amazing strategist, a very wily person.”
All of those things could be said of Emily Wilson herself. The classics professor from the University of Pennsylvania crafted a new adaptation of Homer’s 12,109-line poem in 2017—an effort that required strategy, wiles, cleverness, and inventiveness. Given that adaptation naturally means interpretation, Wilson also became an unwitting soldier in the battles that ensued over how she retold the story.
But—people were debating and engaging with a text that was thousands of years old. Something there must have resonated, and Wilson was credited with making the old story relevant again.
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One unfortunate plot line in the discourse around Christopher Nolan's wildly successful adaptation of The Odyssey has been backlash against the casting of actor Elliot Page as a Greek soldier. The controversy is nothing new for Page, who disclosed he is transgender in December 2020 and instantly became the most famous trans man on the planet—as well as the target of indescribable hate. In June 2022, he talked to Esquire about his childhood, his career, his transition, and his life, though not necessarily in that order.
"What have I learned from transitioning? I can’t overstate the biggest joy, which is really seeing yourself. I know I look different to others, but to me I’m just starting to look like myself. It’s indescribable, because I’m just like, there I am. And thank God. Here I am."
"My childhood best friend and I are still very, very close. His name is Mark, and what I’ve learned from him—and what’s so astounding about him—is his strength and sensitivity. Not being afraid to share your emotions, your pain, to not compromise who you are. Mark quarantined and came to Toronto to take care of me after my top surgery, and we recorded an EP on his four-track while I recovered. That’s what we were doing—writing these little songs. That sound was just us having fun. There’s nothing better than creating things with friends."
"Everything that’s being said about us is all the same shit that was said about LGB people: pedophiles, mentally ill, should they be allowed in the changing rooms. It’s the same. It’s the same. But the politicians are saying, Oh, shit! This is working! And that’s what’s scary."
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