Throughout my childhood, every parent-teacher conference was a variation on a theme: I wasn't working up to my potential. Every single authority figure told me I needed to apply myself. It was a source of frustration for all of us, even before I was old enough to notice that "apply yourself" is about as helpful a piece of advice as "be taller." What does it mean? Should I spend more time in front of the textbooks I'm struggling to read? Should I stare at the same paragraph harder? Should I do twice as much of the thing I can't do? Three times as much? When you're young, you don't know that "apply yourself" has, itself, no practical application. I knew it as a polite version of "lazy" or "undisciplined." I didn't think I was those things, but the people in authority sure seemed to, so I began to believe them. I didn't realize what ADHD was doing to my life until way into middle age. But I got better, and you can too. |
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