There are few things in this life that we can depend upon. Aside from the obvious—death, taxes, etc.—there is one that we at Esquire would like to propose. The day you forget your raincoat is the day you get caught in the rain. We're not talking about Murphy's Law here. It's unlikely that you'll forget your raincoat and find yourself stranded in a downpour, then get evicted, divorced, and murdered on the same day. But being unprepared, raincoat-wise, is enough to make you feel as though everything that could go wrong has. No one likes showing up to work (or a date, for that matter) drenched and defeated. So what should you do? Buy a damn raincoat, man. You could try to get by with an umbrella. But eventually you'll leave it behind at a restaurant, forget it in the car, or watch helplessly as it inverts in a strong gust and leaves you unprotected for the rest of your trudge back home. Wind and weather are unpredictable. A great raincoat, though, is steadfast—a companion that'll carry you through the drizzly months with minor saturation and major style. Here are the five versions that every guy should know (plus a bonus, just for fun). |
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When and Where to Watch the 2026 Oscars |
Trying to figure out how to watch the Oscars can feel like one battle after another. Is it on TV? Is it streaming anywhere? And when does it actually begin? What a bunch of sinners for making us figure it out. Luckily, you don't have to be the secret agent to collect that intel. As Hollywood's biggest night draws near, Esquire's own Hollywood obsessives are here to bring some sentimental value to your Oscars viewing party. Bugonia. This year's 98th Academy Awards ceremony is actually one of the most heated races in recent memory. In a year marked by blockbusters and family crowd-pleasers like Kpop Demon Hunters, the competition is fierce as some movies that were considered shoo-ins just a few weeks ago are suddenly trailing behind a few Cinderella darlings. |
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Most of September 17, 2012, has evaporated from my mind. I still have a few memories. I have the way the surgeon's voice shook. I remember my wife calling my name while she was still under sedation. And I have an image of the hospital floor, up close. I remember white tile and a hope: Maybe I will never have to get up. Maybe they will just let me die here. Nicole was thirty-four, and the doctor had been direct: "It's everywhere," he said. "Like somebody dipped a paintbrush in cancer and flicked it around her abdomen." I staggered down a hallway and then collapsed. I remember the tile, close to my face, and then watching it retreat as my best friend picked me up from the floor. His name is Dane Faucheux, and I remember noting, even in the midst of a mental fugue: Dane's a lot stronger than I realized. |
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In 2012, the writer and animator Seth MacFarlane, famous at the time as the creator of Family Guy, created something else entirely. Ted was a movie about a degenerate manchild (Mark Wahlberg) and his degenerate talking teddy bear (voiced by MacFarlane), rated R, raunchy with sex and drugs. The animation of Ted was creepily real, which made MacFarlane's hilarious script—frat humor but with smart, biting social commentary—funny in a way that felt new. (In the opening scene, between bong hits Ted mimics a woman having an orgasm with a Boston accent—"hahduh! hahduh!"—adding, post-climax, "That was so great, now I'm gonna stuff my face with fuckin' Pepperidge Fahhhm.") Roger Ebert, America's film critic, loved it. To this day it remains one of the funniest screenplays of the twenty-first century. "What's remarkable about Ted is that it doesn't run out of steam," Ebert wrote. The shit-talking stuffy wasn't a one-and-done joke that got old—not in that movie, nor in its sequel, Ted 2, nor in Ted, the TV show MacFarlane created in 2024. In the sit-com, which is a prequel to the movies, Ted has already become famous as a talking bear, and now he lives with John, age sixteen, the younger version of the Wahlberg character; John's parents: Matty, intolerant but with a heart, and sweet, oblivious Susan; and John's hot, progressive cousin Blaire, who's living with the family while attending college. The show proves Ebert right about the steam: What's funny isn't that the bear can talk, or even that he makes rude jokes. It's that he's a funny character going through the world in a way that's both ridiculous and endlessly relatable. |
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As a hawk-eyed deals tracker, I've spotted some of my favorite Apple products drop to new lows after last week's mega Apple launch. A few are at their lowest prices ever. Take the Watch Series 11, for example. It's been hovering around $299, and it's only a matter of time before your luck runs to get the newest Apple Watch for 25 percent off. I recommend upgrading to the 11th-gen model if your old Apple Watch drains quickly. Apple claims the Series 11 can last up to 24 hours, but I managed to squeeze about 34 hours out of it on a single charge. This is based on an hour of fitness tracking (walking, to be specific), a steady stream of notifications, light Walkie Talkie use, and general all-day wear. |
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The new Dodge Charger spins around a slushy skid pad at Team O'Neil Rally School in Dalton, New Hampshire. The car, now in its eighth generation, handles the early March thaw with the experienced ease of an elder statesman. It's not your father's Charger. Now 60 years old, the American classic has been recast as the muscle-car equivalent of an SUV—cozy, comfortable, and capable no matter the weather. "It's a rear-wheel-drive muscle car that acts like a year-round, SUV-like daily driver," says Dodge CEO Matt McAlear. "There's all-wheel drive when you need it and rear-wheel drive when you want it." |
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