Why Can't I Tell These Celebs Apart?

There's a scene from ABC's Abbott Elementary that haunts me. Beloved Boomer-aged grade-school teacher Ms. Howard mixes up two celebrities while debating who should be the next Spiderman. "Well if they do go with a Black actor," she says, "I hope they go with that Mr. Brian Austin Green." Everyone pauses. Looks are exchanged. She means Brian Tyree Henry. The first time I watched this episode, a friend of mine howled at her mistake — Brian Austin Green is white — I laughed along. But in truth, I felt struck with fear. Because I have a confession to make: Like Ms. Howard, I am also deeply confused about who's who.

View in Browser  SHOP EXCLUSIVE SUBSCRIBE Confessions of a Culture Writer With Celebrity Face Blindness There's a scene from ABC's Abbott Elementary that haunts me. Beloved Boomer-aged grade-school teacher Ms. Howard mixes up two celebrities while debating who should be the next Spiderman. "Well if they do go with a Black actor," she says, "I hope they go with that Mr. Brian Austin Green." Everyone pauses. Looks are exchanged. She means Brian Tyree Henry. The first time I watched this episode, a friend of mine howled at her mistake — Brian Austin Green is white — I laughed along. But in truth, I felt struck with fear. Because I have a confession to make: Like Ms. Howard, I am also deeply confused about who's who. Read More The Best Hair Clays for More Definition and Texture These grade-A formulas will give your mane the finish it deserves. Read More Celebrities at Home in the '70s: The Photos Spending time at home never looked so easy breezy. Read More How to Get Into Tequila If you were to tell me 23 years ago, when I first started writing about drinks, that tequila and mezcal combined might one day beat out vodka to become America's best-selling spirit and that people would be drinking $18 tequila martinis, I'd have done a spit take with my old-fashioned. Yet that's exactly what's happening. Vodka sales were flat last year, while tequila and mezcal sales rose 17 percent, marking 20 years of sustained growth. Some cynics will roll their eyes and dismiss this as celebrity capitalism gone wild. (Everyone from the Rock to George Clooney has a tequila brand these days.) I like to think of it as a triumph of taste in America. Read More It's Time to Stock Up On Cashmere Sweaters Here's 22 to choose from. Read More The Chief of the Marines Was Hospitalized Without a Number Two in Command Thanks to — who else? — Tommy Tuberville. Read More Banana Republic's Suede Jacket Is a True Scene-Stealer When I tell you right now that I've found a leather jacket that any guy—and I mean any guy—could wear without worry, I don't want you to think I'm just blowing smoke. Because there are two crucial things to consider about this particular jacket. The first is that it's actually suede, the softer, kinder cousin of those hard-wearing hides preferred by bikers and the like. The second is that it's cut in a universally flattering trucker shape, so you can further avoid any accusations of costuming up. Instead, this thing is poised to become a part of your cold-weather uniform. Read More Follow Us Unsubscribe | Privacy Notice | CA Notice at Collection Esquire is a publication of Hearst Magazines. ©2023 Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This email was sent by Hearst Magazines, 300 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10019-3779