The 'Road House' Remake Is ... Perfect(!)

I've always wondered what taking steroids would feel like. I've taken oral steroids (for chronic eczema, narc), and they felt pretty nice. Like a cup of coffee brewed with a lock of Arnold Schwarzenegger's hair. What's holding me back from leveling up? Well, I'd have to inject real 'roids via needle to the tushy, which would hurt. Also, can dudes under six feet responsibly take steroids? I'd look like some kind of reject meatball from the Carbone menu, right? Does Carbone even have meatballs? Okay. All I'm trying to tell you is that Road House—the remake of Patrick Swayze's 1989 cable-rerun classic—is not only extremely good but it's also so honest-to-God thrilling that it gave me the steroid thoughts again.

View in Browser  SHOP EXCLUSIVE SUBSCRIBE 'Road House' Returned All the Testosterone to My Body I've always wondered what taking steroids would feel like. I've taken oral steroids (for chronic eczema, narc), and they felt pretty nice. Like a cup of coffee brewed with a lock of Arnold Schwarzenegger's hair. What's holding me back from leveling up? Well, I'd have to inject real 'roids via needle to the tushy, which would hurt. Also, can dudes under six feet responsibly take steroids? I'd look like some kind of reject meatball from the Carbone menu, right? Does Carbone even have meatballs? Okay. All I'm trying to tell you is that Road House—the remake of Patrick Swayze's 1989 cable-rerun classic—is not only extremely good but it's also so honest-to-God thrilling that it gave me the steroid thoughts again. Read More Our Favorite Samsung Projector Is 25% Off Right Now It's an award winner for a reason. Read More The OG Lacoste Polo Is at Its Lowest Price Ever This is a sale we can't refuse. Read More Get This: Alabama Is Suddenly Concerned About 'Free and Fair Elections' Being our semi-regular weekly survey of what's going down in the several states where, as we know, the real work of governmentin' gets done, and where Big Jim owns the town's only diamond mine. We begin in Alabama, where the upcoming elections already are well within the Margin of Shenanigans. Hold on a minute while I stop rolling around on the floor laughing at the notion of "free and fair elections" coming from the gob of a governor of Alabama, the state that gave us Shelby County v. Holder, the misbegotten Supreme Court decision that gutted the Voting Rights Act and allowed Chief Justice John Roberts to declare the Day of Jubilee. Read More 9 Things We're Buying from Amazon's Big Spring Sale If you don't have a game plan, you'll be lost. Read More Amazon's Big Spring Sale Is the Perfect Time to Upgrade Your AirPods Up to 24% off the best-selling models. Don't wait any longer. Read More The New Rules of Suiting Up The man in the gray flannel suit is long gone. But even his sartorial descendants disappeared somewhere in the last fifteen years or so, along with the idea of wearing a jacket and tie to the office every day. Now is the era of wearing a suit because you want to. Because you understand the way it can transform not only your look but your entire attitude. Because of the sheer damn joy of dressing to the nines and having some fun once in a while. Even though the old ways have gone out the window, there are still a few rules to keep in mind, however. Call them guidelines, if you want. Break them, if you dare. But don't suit up without knowing them. Read More How satisfied are you with the content of this newsletter? Follow Us Unsubscribe | Privacy Notice | CA Notice at Collection Esquire is a publication of Hearst Magazines. ©2024 Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This email was sent by Hearst Magazines, 300 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10019-3779