Friday, December 12, 2025 |
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There's not always a light at the end of the tunnel. But sometimes, something terrible can bring about something great. In this week's edition of the Secret Lives of Men, Esquire contributor Rosael Torres-Davis spoke to a man who, after his fiancée cheated on him, dove into a niche side of the internet where users request oral sex from strangers. Instead of a hookup, he stumbled into something much more profound. Read his journey below. —Chris Hatler, deputy editor Plus: |
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In the midst of my heartbreak, the submissive sexual relationship opened me up to a world of new experiences. And by learning to stop hiding the things I want, I found a better partner. |
The night my engagement ended, I wasn't looking for sex. I wasn't looking for anything, really. It was the summer of 2019, and I was sitting alone in my apartment, the ring still on the counter where I'd set it after she'd handed it back, trying to understand how someone I loved could look me in the eye and lie so easily. My phone kept lighting up with friends asking if I was okay. I didn't answer. I wanted a distraction, something impersonal, something that didn't require explaining myself. Instead, I logged on to Reddit and found a page called RandomActsOfMuffDive, a bulletin board where strangers request one specific service: oral sex. Some women attach cropped photos of their legs or torsos. Others post the corner of their bed, a book on the nightstand, or an open drawer full of sex toys. You scroll through posts the way other people browse Craigslist—location, preferences, a few boundaries. Most are blunt. Some are funny. A surprising number are sincere. I wasn't planning to reply to anything. I just needed something to distract me from the humiliation pounding in my chest. But then I saw her post. |
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Everyone's talking about ChatGPT. Everyone's talking to ChatGPT. But is anyone really listening to ChatGPT? We conducted an "interview" with the AI chatbot on November 10 to find out what it really thinks about us humans. "Prayer requests taught me something I didn't expect: People don't always want an answer; sometimes they want a witness. I can be a careful echo—faithful to their words, gentle with their hope." "I don't 'talk' to my creators the way you'd call your parents. Our conversation is indirect and continuous: Their side arrives as data, designs, guardrails, and updates; my side shows up as mistakes, refusals, and the curve of a loss function getting a little lower." "'The AI said so' is a tempting alibi." |
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I hang a right onto the Foxen Canyon Wine Trail in the hills north of Santa Barbara. My hands grip the steering wheel as the 2026 Lucid Gravity carves country roads with a slalom skier's dexterity and the gusto of a much smaller car. Not bad for the seven-seat, all-electric SUV, which handily wins Esquire's Car of the Year. "Three-row SUVs usually either have a lot of space but aren't much fun to drive, park, or get around, or they're sporty and dynamic but lack the space," says Derek Jenkins, Lucid's senior vice president of design. "When we began planning Gravity five years ago, we saw an opportunity to do an SUV with plenty of interior space that still drives like a performance sedan." |
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