What happens when life doesn't go as planned? Now in his 40s, a former bohemian comes to terms with a kind of life—and love—very different from what he'd expected.
It's a strange thing, inhabiting a life you never would have imagined for yourself. I turn 44 this spring. For the past nine years, I've lived in a small city in eastern Iowa; for almost as long, I've been in a relationship with a man I met soon after moving here. Six years ago we moved in together, and three years ago we bought a small Dutch colonial. In many ways, our lives are typical of one kind of midwestern American life. On nice evenings, we sit in our yard and say hello to our neighbors; in the autumn we rake leaves. A year ago we adopted two cats. This is a life that no one I knew in the pre-Internet, pre–marriage equality South I grew up in, at the height of the early AIDS crisis, could have imagined. You'll knock it out of the park with these ideas—a top candidate for all-time best partner of the century. Whether you use it inside or outdoors, it'll help you create a very nice mood. When Jamie Dornan tells me that his new TV series The Tourist is the last project we'll hear him sing in for a while, I balk. In recent years, the Jamie Dornan Musical Number has very much become A Thing. A Good Thing. During a video call in March, I go over his immediate classics with him: "Edgar's Prayer" from Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar, his cover of "Everlasting Love" from Belfast, and of course, "Maybe I'm Amazed" from Fifty Shades Freed. "Look," Dornan says, "[The singing] is unintentional is what I'll say. I have no idea how or why that ended up being the case." Level up with these essential button-ups. Yes, you can cover your calves and still keep it breezy. It is better to say less than more, especially if you have children. You still have to see this person over and over again. At the lawyer's. At the notary's. At school. At games. You don't want her dead, exactly. But if she spontaneously combusted, and it didn't hurt your child's feelings, and you never had to look at her or talk to her again, you probably wouldn't mind. Meanwhile, you have to be cordial. You finally get enough room in the bed. |
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