Ever since I first read it, I've been thinking about this excerpt from our most recent Secret Lives of Men column: "Watching porn isn't going to make you better at sex. That would be like taking your car to your mechanic, watching him fix it, and thinking that the next time it broke, you could fix it yourself." In the days of YouTube tutorials, I'm not sure that logic checks out. But it's an interesting thought that sparks a question: How can you learn to become better at sex? Well, Esquire contributor Hallie Lieberman spoke to a man who calls himself "the Vagician." Supposedly, he has the answer. Read his story below. —Chris Hatler, deputy editor |
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There's a reason women complain so much, I thought. Somebody needs to explain to guys that they're doing it all wrong. |
My whole life, I've always preferred the company of women to men.
I began my career as a male stripper in England. I did it for ten years. In the early 2000s, I began appearing in softcore porn magazines. Around 2007, my girlfriend and I met Jenna Jameson, who's often called "the Queen of Porn." She got us into the hardcore industry.
I moved to Los Angeles and began shooting 12 to 25 scenes a month at about $700 a pop. When I went into a scene, I fell in love with that girl for the next 50 minutes. I wanted my scenes to not just appear real but to be real to me, because it made my job easier. There were very few girls who didn't orgasm in my scenes. My goal was to get the girl off, because that gave me pleasure. I loved seeing how pleasure manifested in her voice, eyes, and body. It's a huge high. I chase that high constantly. |
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Doesn't matter who you are. If you find yourself in Dr. Robby's (Noah Wyle) way during the chaos of The Pitt season 2, you can and will invoke the man's wrath. We know he's on some sick death mission—Head-Smashed-In Buffalo-Jump and all—and the HBO Max show's sophomore run is clearly ratcheting up the man's mean streak episode by episode. Look at Robby sideways and you'll invoke his wrath. Even if you're Dana (Katherine LaNasa). Especially if you're Langdon (Patrick Ball).
How about two sheepish ICE agents? Yep. Them too. I'm just not sure if I believe it. |
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According to an app on my phone, I have 120,159 hairs on my head, plus or minus 5,000. The fact that a piece of software can tap into the power of AI to count follicles is actually pretty impressive … if it's not a hallucination, that is. This isn't some one-off experiment, either—it's the new frontier of men's grooming. These apps promise to scan, analyze, and optimize your hair care. Some target overall health, others focus on staving off hair loss, and most will build custom regimes you're meant to track like a workout.
They all demand the same two things. First, a willingness to let a robot weigh in on your grooming. Second, the ability to photograph your own scalp from angles normally reserved for a mug shot. If that sounds confusing, don't worry. I spent a few weeks trying them—then fact-checking the results with a real dermatologist—to see what the future of your hair looks like when it's filtered through machine learning. |
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