| | | Matt Gaetz et al. were caught on video storming the SCIF to disrupt the impeachment inquiry, because Republicans. | | If you have trouble reading this message, view it in a browser. | | | | |  | | | | You Can Pick Out All Your Favorite Wingnuts as They Commit a Dangerous Breach of National Security | | | | You can pick out your favorite wingnuts if you have your Bingo card handy. That Gaetz (R-Breathalyzer) is at the head of this foolishness, of course, is no surprise. And reports indicate that Louie Gohmert, perhaps sensing that his position as Padishah Emperor of the Crazy People is under threat from Gaetz, got into the secure room and started yelling about stuff. It is here where I point out that violating protocol in what is called a SCIF—Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility—is very serious business. So is bringing a cellphone into one, which many of these meatheads did. Try it yourself some time. Wear Kevlar. Read More | | | | | | | | | | | |  | | | | The Super-Warm, Wind-Blocking Coat You Can Wear With a Suit | | | | There are times when you have to sacrifice style for more functional concerns like staying warm and dry—that's something we actually used to believe. Not so. Especially not today, when even genuinely classic-looking pieces can hide a whole lot of technical know-how under the hood. Case in point: Uniqlo U's BlockTech duffel coat. Read More | | | | | | | | | | | |  | | | | Trump's D-List Defenders Have Dug Their Most Pathetic Trench Yet: Abuse of Power Is All Good | | | | With all the twists and turns of the Electric Kool-Aid Acid Presidency, you may have forgotten that Donald Trump, American president, once appointed as his acting attorney general a man who was previously a Big Dick Toilet Salesman. This is not a joke. In 2014, a firm called World Patent Marketing announced Matthew Whitaker was joining its board of directors. WPM claimed to help inventors get their patents approved and their products marketed, but allegedly just pocketed their money. (For this, the Federal Trade Commission fined the group $26 million and banned the founder from doing business in the field.) But in the same press release announcing that Whitaker was coming aboard, WPM crowed that it had secured a patent for a "masculine toilet." It even included a measurement for the size of "average male genitalia," suggesting the new product was "for those of us who measure longer than that." Read More | | | | | | | | | | | |  | | | | The 20 Best Stephen King Adaptations, Ranked | | | | When Stephen King first wrote Carrie, he was a poverty-stricken twentysomething typing his first four novels in a trailer to sell for pennies. Carrie wasn't the first novel King wrote—it was his fourth—but his first to get published, and the book that began the greatest horror legacy of all time. Since then he's written 61 novels and about 200 short stories—dozens of which have been turned into films, TV shows, or mini series. To celebrate his legacy, we run down the best King adaptations in film and movies of all time. Read More | | | | | | | | | | | |  | | | | The First Election at the End of the World | | | | There is no beach where there once was a beach. There is a strip of sand that can hardly be called a beach, and on a cool afternoon at the beginning of September, seven kids were splashing through the waters at the edge of Grand Traverse Bay in that part of Lake Michigan that cuts into the lower half of the state of Michigan, providing a pinkie finger to the state's mitten configuration. Not far from where there once was a beach, you can see a dock submerged just below the surface. The water is so clear you can count the boards. This is where Lake Michigan had come to rest at the end of the summer of 2019. Read More | | | | | | | | | | | | | | Follow Us | | | | | | | | Unsubscribe Privacy Notice | | | esquire.com
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